There's nothing like the feeling of finishing your exams...

Observation #18: One of the few upsides of writing exams is the huge relief/satisfaction/sense of "freeeedom!!!" you get after you're done.

It's like you have to go through the stress/anxiety/impending sense of doom (a little dramatic, I know, but I'm guessing you keeners who want to get that gold star A+ from their TA will know what I'm talking about) to be able to enjoy the equally strong feelings of liberation ("I don't have to look at those notes ever again!") and relief. Being out of school for the last couple of years, I had forgotten about what that all felt like.

I was reminded again though, with the two exams I just finished this past week. You see, I'm in school once again. I was looking at different career options/work opportunities given my new status as a mother, and decided that I wanted to pursue something that would give me a balance between my interests/career ambitions/training (namely, something in the social work field) and being able to be there for my child(ren in the future?) on a more than after-full-time-work basis. And fortunately our family situation is such that we can afford that option of me not working full-time at the moment, which I know is not the case for everyone. So I gave it some thought and decided that getting TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language) certification so that I can teach in the government-funded ESL programs (aka LINC) was a good option for me because it would place me in a social-work-related field of working with immigrants (which is in demand in Mississauga where I live), marry my passion for the English language, and also give me the option of working part-time, which are how most LINC instructor postings are structured. And the pay is great! Plus, I also have my academic paper editing business on the side. I think I'll post about that another day. Anyway, I have 7 courses in total to finish. 2 down, 5 more to go!

But I digress from my original observation... yes, my first semester is over and the exams are finished! I feel like I'm a high school student on summer break again! I want to stay up all night watching korean dramas or something, but then I must remember I have a 15 month old who won't let me sleep in... so maybe I don't really feel like a high school student... Anyway, I am happy.

Each day holds so much potential

Observation #17: So much can be learned, discovered, forgotten, acted upon, or wasted in a day.

This truth has never been as clear to me as it is now as a mother of a rapidly-growing baby. It's amazing to see how much change you can see in Chloe in a matter of days. And when we meet with a friend who is but a few months older, I'm amazed at what we have in store and often can't imagine Chloe doing some of the things that her 3-month senior is doing. But lo and behold, she hits those milestones -- sometimes a few weeks sooner or later than her peers, but I'm learning that is a-okay...

For instance, Chloe started walking about 5 weeks ago, at around 14 months. I can honestly say that about 7 weeks ago, we were all "When is she gonna finally walk? What if she isn't walking by October (she has to be a flower girl for her Aunt Sarah!)? Why is it taking so long?" and here we are just over a month later, and she'd rather go where she wants rather than be carried around.

But even in the day to day, there are new words being learned and new connections being made about what goes with what or what kind of response she can expect from mommy and daddy when she spits her food out (my biggest pet peeve!) or asks for a kiss. Each day holds so much potential.

And as true as it is that some of that physical and cognitive change comes more slowly as we age, I don't think that observation holds any less truth for me today, as a 28-year old woman. Each day can still hold the potential to bring about change in my life, or I can just waste it away being stagnant... Some days, I have to confess, the status quo sounds fine to me. But other days, Chloe inspires me in the ways she surprises me (like today, she learned to say "thank you"!).


Chloe at 14.5 months

My baby journey over the last 8 months...

I haven't updated in a long time and so much has happened since! It's too much to put into words so here it is in pictures.



















Pregnant! Probably around 9 months here. My relatively small bump was a sign of the small baby that was to come.













Chloe Joowon Lee, Born May 13, 2010 at 9:11 p.m. 5 lb 11 oz (2.545 kg), 49 cm. Kevin was an awesome partner during the whole labour process!











May (Week 1/2). still a beloved skinny alien. ;)
















May (Week 2)... pre-3 week growth spurt. Kevin and I were still learning the ropes. My mom was such a big help during these 3 weeks, cooking, taking care of Chloe while I napped, being a friend.










June (Week 3). Post-growth spurt. Became a little michelin baby!

















July (2 months). Was smilier and more responsive.

















August (3 months). Started to hold her head up better.












August (3 months). 100 day party. A baby milestone in Korean culture.

September (4 months). With some of her biggest fans. :)



















More Month 4.











October (5 months). Our first family retreat. Chloe did splendidly and we got to join in on most of the worship and programs.


October Thanksgiving weekend (5 months). New York Trip! First airplane ride and visit to the Big Apple.


October (5 months). Got a head start on solids. First spoon-fed meal: Rice cereal. Daddy finally got to get in on the action with feeding.


October (5 months). Chloe's first Halloween!



More Month 5.


November (6 months). Got all dressed up for Linda and Danny's wedding.


November (6 months). Fall colours with mommy and daddy.












December (7 months). Became so much more active and alert. Fully able to laugh, sit, express her likes and dislikes.

I'll miss you, Yonge Street Mission!

Observation #16: You know you're spoiled silly when you get three different baby showers at work.

I know just how lucky I am to be able to say with utter honesty, "I love my job!" I don't have any hard stats on this, but it seems like the majority of people I know think of their job as just a job and not necessarily a place of fulfillment or community. It's the place they go to get their pay checks, and the other spheres of life are where that fulfillment is found. Which is totally understandable as well, and I expect that at one point I'll be holding a job like that too.

But I must say, my work at Yonge Street Mission during the past two years was not "just a job". Maybe quoting you what we're asked to agree to during our Staff Consecration will give you a better idea of what I'm talking about...

"Charge to: Jennifer Yoon. In joining the staff of Yonge Street Mission you have entered into a special calling. In becoming a member of this Christian faith community, you have agreed to demonstrate God's love, peace and justice to people living in economic, social and spiritual poverty in Toronto. Do you recognize that this is the vocation God has chosen for you at this particular phase of your life? Do you commit to upholding the values of God's Kingdom through this ministry? Do you acknowledge that every person is created in the image of God and has inherent value and dignity? Will you maintain a healthy lifestyle that includes the development of spiritual disciplines?

If this is your desire, then respond with a resounding 'YES!' "

To which, of course, I did respond resoundingly.

My work with the seniors and adults in the community of Regent Park/Moss Park and St. Jamestown has stretched me, challenged me, spoiled me (I repeat, 3 separate baby showers! One from the seniors, one from our adult drop in called "New Hope Fellowship", one from the staff. Not to mention the bridal shower I got last year...) and taught me much about being in community. It was also amazing to work in a Christian organization that nurtured my faith, as well as made me ask new questions about my faith journey. My coworkers are the kindest, most warm-hearted people you'll meet and I've learned a lot from each of them. I'll miss everyone!

The long commute is what I won't miss, which is also why I won't be returning to work after my maternity leave, but as I've heard often around the Mission, "no one really ever leaves the Mission." My heart and prayers will be with YSM!

not being able to sleep...

Observation #15: Having a cold + Being 31 weeks pregnant = no sleep

I've very rarely had trouble sleeping and have been told by so many that I should enjoy my sleep now (since it'll be greatly lacking in about 9 weeks), but here I am, up at midnight not able to shut my brain off. The combination of a stuffy nose, sore throat and increasing discomfort to my back no matter which way I lie down means I'd rather be up than trying to coax sleep to visit me... it's been two nights now that I haven't been able to rest the way I want to, but hopefully this will be the last night.

Thank goodness I have tomorrow off, which means I can sleep in. Though at the same time, it's sad to think I only have 2 more weeks of work left... So many changes will be happening in the next few months. I'll have to blog about that another day.

Well, I guess I'll just surf around the net for random things until my eyelids can't stay up anymore. I hope that's soon...

Gift giving

Observation #14: Apparently I'm not a great gift-giver after all...

So I think quite a few people out there have heard of the notion of "love languages".

"Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch." (www.5lovelanguages.com).

I had always thought that one of my top love languages was giving and receiving gifts. Even as a kid, I loved giving away stuff. Unfortunately for my sister, sometimes that stuff included her stuff, and she'd pout and get upset when I'd offer her long-forgotten-stuffed-animal-from-the-back-of-the-closet to another little girl who was over at our house and seemed to enjoy playing with it. But even with my own possessions, I liked being able to give that certain gift I thought the other person would just love to receive. I would never be able to wait for the actual birthday or Mother's day to come -- if I bought the gift a week in advance, usually by mid-week I would crack and give it to the person -- just for the sheer joy of seeing their face when they opened it.

But... ever since I have been together with Kevin, I'm becoming more and more doubtful of my ability to give gifts. He is by far the more generous, the more thoughtful gift-giver. He thinks of giving gifts to people on occasions I would have just glossed over and he thinks of giving bigger and more meaningful gifts than I often have the energy or the generosity to think of.

Which is why this month I am racking my brain all the more. February includes both V-Day and Kevin's birthday. And it included my birthday, when I got the coolest gift ever from Kev. He got me a telescope! I don't know the exact model number, which is why I am uploading a random telescope pic (just so you get the idea) but it is very cool and I look forward to gazing at many stars through it. I just have to figure out how to do that first...

What do I get him??? V-day is right around the corner and I am still drawing a blank... boo.

The new Lee residence!

Observation #13: Moving takes longer than you anticipate...

So our big move was on Saturday and now we are living in the chaos of boxes, not-yet-placed furniture, sawdust and paint cans. Our hope is that we'll exit our chaos by Wednesday. But like K said right before falling off to sleep last night, "I'm so happy... I couldn't be happier." I agree. It's a blessing to be starting off our family in a home we can dream of making our own (still a long to-do list of renovations ahead of us) over the next 5, 10 years.

So, moving. We decided to have movers come in to do the move, as Kevin was unbelievably busy with dealing with contractors for our kitchen the past week and would have to be at home on-site on the day of, and I am of course pregnant and therefore not much use with lifting anything. We figured that the 4-hours we allotted to professional movers would be sufficient, since we thought we don't have too much stuff. I still don't think we have that much stuff, but long story short, the move took twice that amount of time. Maybe it was too many smoke breaks those guys went on... I don't know. I wonder what our next move will be like, with so much more stuff I'm sure we'll accumulate in the years to come.

As crazy as my house is right now, I can't wait to go home today! 1.5 hours left... Time, fly please.

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By the way, we found out last week, it's a girl! Chloe Joowon Lee... Can't wait to see her pretty face.