stressed.........

Observation #12: I don't think I get stressed too often, but when I do, I don't think I handle it too well.

I can't go into the details of why I am stressed, but I do need to just put it out there to release! Some situations just feel more complicated than they should be...

I wanna be #1

It's been a long time since I've last blogged... I've just had writer's block lately. This is like my 3rd attempt in the last week to write something, but I've just kinda stared blankly at the screen and then turned to Facebook Scrabble instead...

Observation #11: I like to win.

Speaking of Scrabble, I'm pretty sad that my rating has dropped, and now I have the 3rd highest rating out of my Facebook friends. It feels good to be on top and I enjoyed it for a while, but my latest losses have bumped me 2 spaces down. I do realize that this competitiveness has kinda made playing less fun and more stressful. I'll feel much better when I'm back up there again. Haha...

I guess I've always been a little competitive. Especially when it comes to games that I feel like I have a decent shot at. Being sports-un-inclined, I'm not that competitive when it comes to anything involving a ball or moving object, but that's only because I think I'll lose anyway so I just don't play. So maybe even that's a sign of my desire to only win and never lose. Games involving words, guessing, trivia - you get the idea - I can get a little aggressive. But all in good fun, right?

Yes! I just won a game of scrabble! #1, here I come.

Colds suck

Observation #10: My husband must truly have a strong immune system, because he's not once got a cold despite the half dozen colds I've brought home.

Since working at Yonge Street Mission for the past year and a half, my proud belief that I am a relatively physically healthy person has been reduced to more of a wish than a fact, given my history of colds in this short time span. I've kind of lost count of how many colds I've had, but I think it's around five or six, and I know I've used my fair share of sick days at work. I am battling out yet another cold this week with a stuffy nose and sore throat that comes and goes. And all this despite getting 10+ hours of sleep a day and washing my hands all the time.

I've been too chicken to really check out the symptoms of H1N1, but maybe I should do it right now... just in case...

Okay, whew. I only have like 2 out of the 9 major symptoms. I'm pretty sure I'm fine.

But like I said in my observation, throughout all this time, Kevin has not once caught my cold. And I mean, we were dating, and we're now married, so I can unabashedly say that there's been some kissing going on, so he's had more than a small chance of catching my bugs, but nope, he's been staunchly healthy enough to take care of me. (Maybe I'm jinxing it now...) He is my hero. Haha...

I can't wait to get better though. :( I'm sick of breathing through my mouth.

Grace

Observation #9: We all need grace - perhaps the area we need it most is in being able to extend it to others... because that's often the hardest part.

I am quoting a piece written by Rick Tobias, CEO of Yonge Street Mission, where I work. It is a privilege to work under his leadership, and I'm sure you'll be able to understand why after you read the prayer below.

Prayer by Rick Tobias

Grace. God, grant us grace;
enough that we can see the beauty and value in individuals, even when their outward appearance obscures it completely; enough to see their honour, however deeply hidden and to grant respect, even when we think it is undeserved.
Help me to recognize the wounds and understand the shame that lies behind each act of rejection and moment of repulsive behaviour. Grant me grace to believe that most of us are doing the best we can in the midst of our personal brokenness.

Grace. God grant grace to a dad who cannot love; to a man crushed by the weight of his own neglected childhood and facing a son who spends his wealth and spits his name. Grace to a parent who gives up, and who drugs the pain by choosing vacation over children. Grace when the weight of failing, and of being failed, overwhelms. Grace to dads and grace to moms who, having no grace left to give, receive little in return.

Grace. God grant grace to the caregivers who over-spend every loving emotion, and who, finding themselves empty and void, act out love through sheer strength of will and commitment to justice. Grace to all, who having poured out their lives into others, discover that love is not all you need, and who live to see those in their care self-destruct. Grace to those who so freely give themselves to others yet sometimes forget to grace their selves.

Grace. God grant grace to me, when there is no place in my heart for a wounded child; when my life is so consumed with me and mine that I have little love to give. Grace to me when I pretend not to see, or turn away in fear from the ugly, untidy, or strange. Grace to me when I am so absorbed in my own life that I forget to be grace to others.

God, grant us grace. Enough for all we have experienced, and all that we have become, and enough to be all that you desire.

"Smile Like You Mean It" - The Killers

Observation #8: When jumping up and down at a rock concert, make sure all pockets are zipped, bags are securely closed and shoelaces are tied.

...'cuz if you don't, you might lose your cell phone, like me.

Thank God for kind strangers who will return your phone to a lost & found so that you don't have to spend more money buying a phone to fulfill the stupid phone contract you're locked down to (cell phone companies are evil). So long story short, I have my phone back! Thank you random stranger!

The Killers were great! They are awesome performers and their music is very easy to rock to, even if you're not a rocker. I most certainly am not one, but had tons of fun anyways. I knew about 2/3 of the songs they played - maybe even less than that - but the ones I did know were fun to pretend to sing along to. Haha... I'm lame, I know.

My favorite part was:

When a ton of confetti blasted at the climax of their second-to-last song. That's the confetti on the ground.

Kevin and I were with great company too so we had fun. The only not fun part was having to stand for the full 3 hours, 'cuz we got floor tickets. Super duper close to the stage but no chairs to sit on.




Thank you to K for making all the cool concerts happen. :)

all i wanna do is nothing...

Image credits: www.aestheticapparatus.com

Observation #7: Laziness is like a slippery slope.

My aptitude for lazing about has been mounting and mounting the last few weeks. Despite the fact that I have lots on my to-do list, I find myself wanting to just youtube/couch-potato my day away. And it only seems to get worse as I get nice and comfortable in the feeling of un-productiveness. Which is not very me, if you know me. Getting my wisdom teeth extracted tomorrow will only enable my laziness for the next 5 days (5 day weekend, woohoo!). Hopefully I'll snap out of it after Labour Day. Yay for human labour.

F-R-E-E

Observation #6: Free stuff rocks...

Who says nothing in life is free?

A few days ago, I was sitting in a Panera Bread cafe, right around my house, enjoying the free wifi. It was great because I had a couple hours to kill and a bunch of free online episodes of Project Runway Canada to watch. By the way, that show is pretty cool. It's amazing what talents human beings possess.

Iman the supermodel: "Make an evening gown out of post-its!"
Designers: "OKAY!"

Anyways, going back to the free stuff, I guess it can be argued that the wifi is calculated into the not-terribly-cheap soup & sandwich combo I got (their sweet corn soup is so good though!), but then again there are lots of not-so-terribly cheap restaurants without free wifi. So I readily buy into the notion of free-ness, though I may be being duped.

What else in my life is free?

• Well of course, God's love for me. The best free thing there is out there.
  
• Parking at work. Parking for free in downtown Toronto certainly is a big deal. Too bad I'm not a morning person and therefore don't trust myself on most days to not fall asleep in rush hour traffic.
• Graphic design stuff my sister does for me (check out www.syoondesign.com). I didn't have to pay for my wedding invitations, this blog design, any other design-related thing ever. :)
• Friendships. I have some AMAZING friends that God has blessed me with, and as far as I'm concerned, I've never paid for them. Sure, you have to invest money and time and heart, but I think given the return, it's almost as good as free!
• Inspiration on the web. For someone like me who is into the arts & craft world (though have little time to actually make anything lately), the world wide web has inspiration galore. Lots of stuff I've bookmarked to try to make later... As an experienced friend has told me before, I apparently just have to wait to get pregnant and I'll have lots of time to do this stuff. There's a good reason to get pregnant... haha.
  
• Blogging! Although, I just listened to a comical debate on CBC radio about whether or not blogging benefits the world or harms it (freedom of speech and opinion vs. forum for hate crimes, cyber bullying and just "do you really think people care?"). Where do I stand on the debate? Mmm.. well I am blogging as we speak, aren't I? But it's true that there are many people out there that take advantage of the anonymity and little accountability there is in the "blogosphere" (I learned that word from the radio today).
• Stuff at the library! Again, I understand that our tax dollars are paying for all of our library services, but very few people take advantage of what their tax dollars are paying for and instead pay for books at retail price and borrow movies from Blockbuster, where they could get that stuff free. I have to confess that Kevin and I have been loyally visiting Blockbuster as well, 'cuz the Mississauga library sucks. I miss Richmond Hill...

Okay, so there's more stuff out there, but this has gotten quite lengthy already. If anyone out there wants to comment on other free stuff the world should take advantage of, please share. :) I'm gonna go heat up the lasagna my mother-in-law made me (free) for lunch now. Ciao!